First a great Progressive Confession: Although I am a patriotic American I am actively rooting for the 45th President of the United States to shit his pants in public. So count me amongst the gleeful opponents of #45 who relished in the embarrassing and humiliating failure of the G.O.P. effort to “repeal and replace” President Barack Obama’s signature legislative achievement, the Affordable Care Act. In typical Trump fashion, he spun aggressively to deflect from his loss- best described by Bill Maher as a public bout with legislative erectile dysfunction. He blamed Democrats mostly but by the time he was done, he had pointed all ten of his fingers and all ten of his toes in every direction but at himself- which is of course where the blame belongs.
But I don’t want anybody to miss the single most important part of this amazing scene from the Donald Trump political snuff film. The biggest issue is this: If Donald Trump was so convinced that Barack Obama was a disaster and his presidency would ruin the United States- most notably because of his healthcare reform legislation- why didn’t he get his fat ass in the ring in 2012 and try to take him out BEFORE so much of the legislation actually hit the public and became an entrenched entitlement? Everybody knows that most of what made the ACA really stick rolled in during the 2012 campaign and right after. If Trump was so smart, so tough, so capable and so patriotic, where the fuck was he when all of those poor disenfranchised and forgotten “working class white men” needed him the most? To let Trump tell it, Romney choked like a dog and he would have routed the incumbent just by the sheer force of his will.
But we all know better than that, although the issue is almost never discussed in polite circles or in the public square. The truth is Trump punked out and did not want to fight Barack. Trump was like a terrified high school kid who got caught talking behind somebody’s back and then had to answer for it. He didn’t want to go head to head with Barack and EVERYBODY knows it. Look at the two of them in a side-by-side and it becomes obvious why he sat out the fight and decided it was safer to stay in the spectator seats and talk shit than climb into that ring. Trump is tall but he is a bloated, fat ass, 72 year old white man with a cartoonish comb over that changes from orangutan orange to bleach blonde like the wig on any ghetto chick with nine inch fingernails. He looks every bit as soft and pampered as he has been all his life despite the nonstop tough-guy talk and phony macho persona.
Barack on the other hand is tall, dark and handsome; undeniably strong and lean as evidenced by the shirtless beach photo that was in wide circulation during the ’08 campaign. (Just imagine the horror of a shirtless photo of Trump.) Elected in his prime years, he can still play full-court basketball for hours and looks like he’d do just fine with the ladies even if he WASN’T the most important man in American politics in more than a half-century. So, no, Trump didn’t want it- none of it. He knows how flabby and weak and emasculate he would look next to Barack- not to mention how dumb he would sound in direct comparison. By the time a side by side assessment of these two men was complete, Melania would be trying to find out if there was any room left on Barack’s band wagon for her. She might have been hoping that he was still down with the swirl after so many years of exclusive- albeit exquisite- brown sugar. After all, does anybody really believe that she wants to open her long lean legs for her husband’s child-bearing hips to pull in? We all know better. For all the shit he talks, this fight was the one he wanted absolutely no part of.
Just challenge any Trump acolyte out there on whether it was really THAT important in 2007 that he continue doing that stupid assed TV game show he was on. You know, the show that is actually responsible for much of the wealth and branding that he has spun into a billionaire persona. The truth is Donald Trump hasn’t built jack shit that has actually lasted since a few years after I was a thirteen year old kid crying over Ronald Reagan’s demolition of Walter Mondale in the 1984 general election. (Yes, I was a political junkie and I cried over elections as a kid, sue me.) The only thing worse than how Trump punked out of a face to face matchup against Obama is how the public has just given him a pass. We are supposedly a culture that rewards courage, but instead we have rewarded cowardice. Trump got multiple draft deferments to keep his sissy-soft punk ass out of Vietnam combat, but has a hard-on for sending sturdy young men like my sons into harms way. All so he can feel like a leader of strength and conviction. What an asshole. And once he conned the hayseeds all across America into believing that he’d erase the painful memory of the Obama presidency from their feeble minds, he could not deliver on the biggest of all of his promises. In the end, Trump had talk, Obama had action. Both had all the cards they needed to win the game but Trump came up limp and Barack knocked it the fuck out like a real man should.
He’ll keep lying about it, spinning it, and deflecting attention from it. But in the end, playing on a level playing field, Barack Obama would have kicked Donald Trump’s ass in 2012 and he kicked it in 2017 when he wasn’t even running or in office. His legislative legacy will not be dramatically undone in the racist fantasy illustrated in all Breitbart and Fox media outlets. In one form or another, the ACA is here to stay and so is the president who delivered it.
Trump punked out, y’all and Obama came up. NOW he can drop the mic.