Ladies, Here’s A Tip That Will Break The Bank & Maybe a Few Hearts (Warning: Contains Explicit Language)

To the extent that it is possible, I understand what women go through in the workplace.  My understanding is based on two very simple points: 1- I have always paid very close attention to women in every context imaginable; and 2- I have been in charge of hiring for enough years that I have pretty much seen it all.  Based on that experience I want you to look at this young lady at the top here and understand one thing I am absolutely certain of:  SHE IS DOING IT RIGHT. 

The simple reality for women in the workplace is that you are going to be looked upon as a woman first and a professional second no matter what some employee handbook or HR manual says.  Managers lie about it during on-boarding and during crisis management because they have to.  Men are going to see you and evaluate your beauty and attractiveness as a matter of nature.  Because they are going to do that anyway, you need to use it to your advantage and knock their fucking eyes right out of their head.  Without undermining your professionalism, you need to look so good when you walk into your office that the men on your team get dizzy when they see you.  Here’s the kicker:  while they are dizzy, you will be getting busy.  You see, the young lady in this picture could very well be the magna cum laude graduate of her college or the editor of the law review.  On sight, we have no idea.  But her work will speak for itself if she is really that tight. Looking like that will certainly not hurt her cause because, after all, what man doesn’t want to see that walking into any room he can see her in- even if it is an executive level meeting.

On the other hand, she could be a ding-bat bimbo.  In which case, she really needs to look like that because that is the only real weapon she has.  And if she is not brain dead she can ride that look into a comfortable mid-range, mid-management position that she can ride out for years.  Until of course somebody rides in on a white horse to scoop her up like in the fairy tales.

I am fully aware of the sniping that goes on between women in the workplace around many issues, but especially this one.  I am telling you now not to give a good goddamn about what other women think.  Bet your ass that if they could look like this picture, they would look like this picture.  If you can do it like this, you need to get busy doing it and prepare for the glares and daggers coming your way from the less fortunate. But is that your problem or their problem?  It’s only your problem if you let it be. You are a woman so be a woman to the full.  Trying to hide doesn’t help your cause.

And trust me, ladies, even though I know every woman is obviously not going to have the blessings that this lady has, I believe God gave you something of your own to work with.  Men are very simple:  if you are booming up top and slack in the back, all we really care about is the boom.  Same works in reverse.  And if you have big pretty eyes and you learn how to draw our attention to them, then that’s what we know you for.  I am not a beauty expert but I have seen enough TV makeover shows to see that whatever you’ve got you can probably be doing more with it to make something “pop” (which must be good because that’s what they are always saying).  So its a mindset as well.  And in closing let me address the circumstance where a woman will be the one passing judgment on your career advancement:  so what?  If your game is tight, it will show and a decent executive will put that interest above all else.  If she doesn’t, is that somebody or someplace you wanted to come to five days a week anyway?

So there you have it.  After decades of professional evolution for women in the workplace some guy is telling you to advance your cause by making the men in your office struggle to hide their erections when you walk by.  I’m sorry if that is disconcerting to you ladies but we live in a competitive world and you simply cannot afford to leave any advantages unleveraged.  That is literally leaving money on the table.  Look at it this way:  there is some wonder-bread white boy whose daddy was fraternity brothers with the CEO of a company and his father-in-law belongs to the same golf club, do you think he is going to leave those facts out when he is angling for his seat at the table?  You’re damned right he’s not.  He’ll be beating that drum like Sheila E until he gets exactly what he wants.  So if you want to win, you have to play to win.  And if they try to cheat the game (read: sexually harass you) then you can shut their fucking lights out with a lawsuit.  Its not ideal, but it is a win, ladies.  Take it from me, and I am one of the good guys.  Thank y’all for listening but its time for me crawl back into my cave ….

∞ Thanks for checking in-  Do your thing today and I’ll see you tomorrow  π

 

4 thoughts on “Ladies, Here’s A Tip That Will Break The Bank & Maybe a Few Hearts (Warning: Contains Explicit Language)

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  1. Yes, yes, yes. The Dolly Parton rule! Always a lady first, a woman second and everything else after that! Being a woman is a beautiful thing…Make them want you to stay in the room as long as there is a room! Sexy is Sexy and it works!

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    1. The greatest con game men ever pulled on women was convincing (some of) you that your sex appeal was a weakness to be marginalized rather than a strength to be monetized. Those of you that saw through it win the prize.

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  2. I go through this daily. My assets are in the lower region. I am 51, with the body of a well maintained 30 year old. Plus, a smile that lights up the room, needless to say when I attend a staff meeting, I am treated like a queen. I get the stucking of the teeth, and looked up and down by my female co workers. They, even try to throw shade my way, but I just keep smiling and slaying. This has gotten me my own enclave, where they chose me, because I am very professional.

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    1. Thank you for checking us out, Marilyn. There is nothing like a validating testimonial to make the point and yours is certainly that. Keep lighting up that room and doing your thing. There is probably some 30 year old young lady watching you that just might follow your example and put her own career into overdrive. I hope there is.

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