Lovers and Friends…One in the Same

Facebook has a relationship status that is defined as “complicated” and for the life of me I do not understand when and how the most important relationship (the love one) became so complicated.

I have been accused a time or two of being “too black and white”, not enough grey. Grey for me sucks and so does lukewarm. A thing is what it is . Period. Love is very simple. Love is pure. Organic. Unconditional. Love is whole. Love is honest. Forthcoming. Love is open and love is vulnerable. Love only becomes complicated when it is trying “something”.

When love is trying to be made to exist within a loveless relationship it becomes complicated. When it is trying to exist for the “sake” of something, it will not thrive and goes beyond complicated. When love is trying to be denied it becomes complicated. When it is trying to be forced out of a heart it wants to occupy and needs to occupy it becomes complicated. When it produces butterflies in the stomach and those butterflies won’t be released to fly….it gets complicated.

The most basic and simplest relationship in our lives becomes complicated when we do not honor what we know. When we fail to give the love of our lives the proper support and devotion and honor it needs, shit gets complicated.

It seems rather simple to me. When we are with the person who makes home…home we honor them and we allow no one to trespass in that space. We commit ourselves to loving and we give what is needed and it is a reciprocal effort. We do not allow ourselves to form friendships and alliances with any energy that is purposed to complicate, antagonize, insult or take jabs at our unions. Such energy must never be entertained or tolerated.

It should always be abundantly clear that our unions are sacred and solid and a force against one is a force against both…any other view is one that will aid in complication. So if there are any forces or voices declaring to be your “friend” but taking shots at your relationship, regardless of your beliefs try this out for size THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!

True friends want what you want and they support what you want and they do not take any opportunity to mock or belittle you or your dreams. We should not have any dream that is bigger than the dream we have for our intimate lives and if you have someone claiming to be your friend but they ain’t cool with your “man or woman” how in the hell are they cool with you? You are making things complicated.

This is as simple as simple can be. If we have a covenant partner, then we have our lover and we have our best friend. Our energy is directed towards that union and giving it what it needs to survive and thrive. All other relationships are defined by the relationship. Ex-wives and Ex-husbands are just that, EX. So why is our communication about anything other than parenting children if minor children are involved?  And if minor children are not involved, WTH is there to talk about? If friendship was such a salient theme, they probably would not be an EX. If they insist on sticking around, they simply want to hate and be in the way.

Relationships with parents and extended family should be times of sharing, communing and support. Surely, we are not talking to them about our bedrooms. Co-workers are co-workers and certainly not privy to our love lives.

Complicated happens when we are out-of-order and running our mouths and inviting people who have no place in love space. When we hold on to our love, protect our love,, guard our love and rebuke any force that comes against it, things become uncomplicated.



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