Hill Harper wrote a book a few years ago about dating and how people misrepresent themselves during the dating process. He called it being a representative of self as opposed to being authentic self.
Truly, there are parts of of our personalities that we wish would go away. We all have bad habits that we wish the habit fairy would take away. We all have things we have done that we are not proud of and some of us have so many skeletons in our closets, there isn’t any room for our clothes. But if we are going to have something substantial, we must allow the person that has earned to be in our space access to our closets and our mirrors. We have to be seen.
I guess it can be a scary proposition to be staring at a great person and afraid that you just have a little to much junk in your trunk (not ass….junk literally) or bags on your back. I get it. But we must know that they have some stuff too. We all do. Any person that would stand in judgment of you and or your past should not be allowed in your future. The hell with them and what they are going through. You do not have to justify or explain anything to anyone.
The only love worth having is an unconditional love because we ain’t perfect and if you spend more than 25 days with someone in an active and engaging way, that person is going to GET ON YOUR NERVES and you WILL GET ON THEIRS. You are going to discover some habits you do not like, some ways that will make you wonder if they got all the spankings they needed to get as a kid and surely at some point there will be disagreements and differences of opinions.
Being in a love space with someone requires just that space. Love requires freedom. Love requires expression. Love requires honesty and most importantly, love holds very close and love understands.
I am not for sharing all of your personal business as soon as you meet a potential, but I think we need to be free to be and reveal ourselves over the natural course of time if the person is fitted for the future. If they are, they will be able to handle our brand of crazy and they will challenge us to be better, stronger and more complete and fulfilled souls. Iron sharpens iron and love that lasts is love that can face what it must endure. Anything that is hid is in darkness and darkness never wins.
I believe we all desire and yearn to be loved unconditionally but in order to have it, we must be free. We have to clear the way for what we desire and making room for love is no different. We must be honest with who we are (willing to be seen), where we are and what we need. We have to be willing to make necessary changes and do the work….and when we start the process of loving ourselves the person that is to love us will begin to make their way to us and love will seize the moment and our lives.
And that is when the magic happens and love is like honey dripping from our lips and our beings. And that my friends, is a beautiful thing….its worth fighting the bees of life for.