Ladies, Always Ask Yourself “What Would M.O.M. Say?” (Warning: Contains Adult Language)

I don’t think it is just me.  This doe-eyed beauty up here really looks like she is actively pondering what to do next.  The wheels of her mind are spinning like Misty Copeland at the Met and she really needs some help figuring out her best move.  Most men would have an impossible time seeing past that rich skin and those alluring lips to read what her eyes are  saying but I have evolved a bit over the years and I can see what is really going on.  She has a few choices in front of her at this very moment and is weighing the costs and benefits of each path- and the decision that she makes is an important one.


And I am going to help her out, right here and right now because the better decisions this PYT makes, the better our world will be.  Yes, our whole world.  It really is that deep.

If you have spent any time reading our posts on The Progressive Pugilist you know that I have a general tendency to make policy proclamations and social prescriptions geared towards women.  That is based on a logic that many of you will remember from your Freshman year Psychology 101 class and the chapters on Sigmund Freud. Spoiler Alert:  Its about sex. Short summary: women and men both need sex but the drive is so powerful in males that it can be used to influence literally everything that we do- for better or for worse.


Even if there is some legitimate debate about the scale and scope of the influence of sex drive on men, the general point is impossible to refute:  women set the tone for society by how they distribute the joy of sex to men.   So if you want to direct societal change on any level you have to get women to buy in first and govern themselves accordingly.  Men will follow the prize- as we always do.  We are wired that way and simply cannot help it.  That is why men have worked so long and hard to divest women of that power. Because we know we cannot beat it, we must try to contain it and direct it so that we can maintain some control over ourselves and over society in general.


Our only chance is to get women to voluntarily surrender the power they have over us.  See the look in that girl’s eyes?  She is on the verge of surrendering her power right now. To who and to what only God knows, but its going down- and as soon as it does, her panties are next.

Because the power that women wield is so great, it is exceedingly important that they wield it right.  And I will not pretend that it is easy to do.  I have had my fair share of poignant moments with women, but I don’t know what it is like to have twenty of them tell me that they want to jump in the bed every damned day of the week.  For an attractive woman that happens every goddamned day.  It kicks off when they are about 14 or 15 years old and probably doesn’t let up until they start getting unsolicited mail from the AARP.


That is a lot of  stiff dick offers, better known as prime opportunities to fuck up a life.   Because of the unrelenting effort and energy directed to getting between their thighs, women can be excused if their defenses get shaky from time to time.  A ridiculous person or a ridiculous circumstance can get dangerously close to derailing a woman like this one at any time and she could spend years trying to get back on track.  I’ll spare you the gory details of the worst of the injuries she could sustain, but it is sufficient to say that the internet and social media has raised the stakes on moments of poor judgment and indiscretion well beyond what can remotely be considered fair.  Not to mention the whole unwanted pregnancy  or STD experience.


So what does this young woman do against this insane backdrop-  all the power in the world, all the responsibility in the world and all the opportunity in the world to fuck it all up in the blink of an eye?  That is a TON of pressure- an unfair burden by any measure.  My suggestion is to take advantage of the grand fortune of being born in an age of ridiculously effective advocates, role models, and representatives.  But life is far too complex to rely on any single voice of reason for counsel.  She needs a small committee of trusted advisers to consult with in those moments when those pretty brown eyes of hers glaze over into “deer-in-the-headlights” mode.

If things have gone according to the norm, this girl was born to a mother that loved her and raised her.  There’s her chief advocate.


This young lady looks to be about 25 so that means that she grew up her entire life with Oprah leading the parade for women’s self-actualization and self-determination from the most effective platform mankind has ever invented:  the daytime television talk-show and television network.  There’s her chief role model.


And then she really scored when she was about 17 because Barack Obama was elected president and his first lady is Michelle- who I am nominating right here and now for single-name status.  Her husband has been in that small and select club for a long time but I think it’s time for Michelle to join Barack, Oprah, Prince, Madonna, Beyonce’, Elvis, Sting and Denzel.  She’s worthy of that honor, but I digress. The point is, Michelle is the chief representative and rounds out the M.O.M. advisory committee.


So in this tough moment of indecision while she is full of doubt and delusion, lust and loneliness, fatigue and fear, and hunger and hope, this young woman should always think about what her M.O.M. advisory committee would say if they were watching her navigate her choices.  What would she do if she had to explain every detail to them when it is over?  The best thing is that these women balance each other off perfectly.  And that balance will ensure that everywhere she may find disapproval and judgment, she will also love and understanding.

So anytime her mother gets a little too moralistic and judgy with her feedback, you can bet your ass Oprah will counter that bullshit with a story about doing cocaine with some Terrence Howard-type scamp when she was 21 years old and chasing him outside in the snow barefooted in her drawers screaming at him over some white girl she caught him with.  And when Michelle gives her ever-present “when they go low, you go high” encouragement speech, her mother might pull the girl aside and let her know that maybe this IS one of the few times that it is ok to snatch a cheap trick’s wig off of her head and slap her in the face with it like she did that time back in ’82.

It is all about that balance and digging the fact that people and situations are complex.


 The M.O.M. advisory committee is best equipped to remind her that when she does mess up that her past does not define her nearly to the extent that it prepares her.  Who knows that better than Oprah?  The M.O.M. advisory committee is best equipped to remind her that if she stays focused on being the very best person she can possibly be, then her Barack will almost certainly find his way to her eventually.  And if he doesn’t then fuck it- you’re an Ivy League educated lawyer with a balling ass job in Chicago anyway.  Who wouldn’t take that?  And the M.O.M. advisory committee is best equipped to remind her that she has purpose and a character that showed up in adorable ways when she was a little kid- long before her shape converted her playmates from boys to men.  Who can know that better than the mother that brought her into the world and watched her grow up?

So if this young lady is smart- and I sincerely hope she is- she can hear the voices of her M.O.M. advisory committee every time she is troubled by her prospects or might be getting herself into some trouble.  She can find all three of her advisers on her smart phone: her mother should already be on speed-dial and Oprah and Michelle’s voices are in abundance on more sites than I can name.   With that kind of support, I like this young lady’s chances to navigate her challenges and come out safe and whole on the other side.

∞ Thanks again for checking in-  Do your thing today and I’ll see you tomorrow  π



4 thoughts on “Ladies, Always Ask Yourself “What Would M.O.M. Say?” (Warning: Contains Adult Language)

Add yours

  1. You know I love this! The smartest people learn from the mistakes of others and listen to their counsel. MO, Oprah, Iyanla, Maya, and countless others have exposed themselves in the spirit of humility and honestly in an effort to guide and empower. Yes, young women should seek out trusted advisors that help them find their way and stay on track and the sex thing, my God! Yes, yes and yes. My daddy use to say, “use your power for good. Use your power for good”. Well done, D.V.H. Well done.


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