Sisters, It Really Isn’t You, It’s Still About The Forbidden Fruit

The enduring attraction and incessant hooking up between black men and white women is an issue that sisters have to come to grips with.  I am talking to black women directly right now and if you visit The Progressive Pugilist with any frequency you know why.  When we want to address social or political problems or clear up widely held misconceptions we always have to start with women because men are absolutely certain to follow eventually- maybe slowly sometimes but we will always follow.


Why do we always follow, you ask?  Well dig the fact that the same guy laying up there with Becky will break his neck turning his head to look when you walk by.  Because so many of y’all have asses that are incredibly plump and pretty- so big sometimes we can see them from the front- and if we let you get too far away from us we can’t see the wiggles, jiggles, swings and bounces that we just can’t get enough of.  So we have to keep pace because we love the view.  We follow that view regardless of where in the hell you are going.  So as I have intimated in prior pieces, make sure you are going somewhere worthwhile because whether you know it or not, you are leading our whole society and culture to that place, too.  That booty is powerful, ladies, so use it wisely.  And don’t worry- the silicon simulations just ain’t the same as what God and your momma blessed you with.


So now that you know why I am addressing you directly, I need you to brace yourself for some jarring and hard-hitting truths in this piece.  I know that this issue of black men and white women torments many black women emotionally and psychologically as you deal with a landscape that appears to offer fewer suitable romantic choices than you need in order to find what you want.  But you need to mind your business. Talking about him and her and whatever his problem is or why he wants her is a waste of your time and energy so after you dig what I give to you in here, you can just shut the book on the issue for good.

The consternation you experience is exacerbated by the fact that black men lie to you all the time about what they do and why they do it with reference to the relentless pursuit of white tail.  Those lies distract from real solutions to real problems.  I think Steve Harvey is an alright guy but the idea of selling you advice and insight that he would give you for free if he really gave a fuck about you is a microcosm of what ails black relationships in general and black women specifically.  Too many strings are attached to any act or offering that is ostensibly an expression of love or largess.  And with those strings comes the emotional con-man game of bait and switch that keeps you guessing about where somebody is really coming from or even worse, wondering about your own value.

con man

I don’t pander to readers and you know by now that when you are fucking up I will say it plainly and loudly in this space.  But it is demonstrably true that this apparent preference that many black men have for white women doesn’t have jack shit to do with black women.  You have to know that is true because if there was anything wrong with what you got or how you swing it, men from all over the globe would not be so fascinated with you and always trying to find out if there’s any room for them in those jeans.  If you don’t believe me travel a little bit and holler back at me.  It will blow your fucking mind.  But since we live in the great melting pot, you might have a sense of it already.  But still you ask:

Why Do Black Men Keep Checking For White Women When White Women Keep Trying So Hard To Look Like Us?

It is a peculiar rejection I know.  Surgically or cosmetically modified skin, hair, lips and asses are giving to white women what God had decided to give almost exclusively to sisters.  

And that makes the visual below all the more distressing, disturbing and disappointing to you. Maybe knowing why this is always in your face will make you feel better.  And I know that everybody is different but that does not stop the common context from having an impact just the same.


So here goes:  Black men have a lingering taste for white flesh because it was deadly forbidden fruit for so long that the social reflex to crave it has endured long after the prohibition was lifted.  In other words, because white women were inaccessible to black men for so long, many black men still grade white women on the desirability curve. They still get points for being that forbidden fruit.  This is hundreds of years old but the shit still stinks.

The premium on whiteness is still so high that an average Becky gets treated like a Beyonce when the gap between them is wide enough to drive a truck through.  That is why many black men go after the Becky when the opportunity arises and the access is granted.  So as you can plainly see, this issue has nothing to do with you, your behavior, your beauty aesthetic or your value.  And there is not a damned thing that you can do about this fucked up twisted social dynamic.   And the dynamic gets multiplied when you account for the fact that Becky is also striking a blow against history every time she gets carried off by Tyrone to do their business.


The most difficult part of this for you to square is the fact that you have to listen to the incessant nonsense about black men preferring white women for reasons tied to imaginary problems that you bring to the table.  The phony narrative that black women are raucus and untamable while white women are submissive and docile has been pushed for so long that black dudes seeking to justify their choices go there first as a reflex.  The only thing more ridiculous than that suggestion is that white women are more sexually liberated than black women and therefore more pleasing to possess.  To that, I give you the same two words: forbidden fruit.


I cannot blame them for not wanting to confess that this primal dynamic is still so powerful in them because it undermines their respectability as rational adults.  But I still don’t give a damn.  Any man that suggests that white women are more gratifying sexual beings than black women is a goddamned fool.  Quite frankly, if a man is still offering broad sweeping generalizations about the sexual proclivities of women based upon group identity he simply cannot be taken seriously and if you let him get into your panties then baby, that’s on you.

Just dig the fact that the “us against the world” dynamic is a tasty side order to the “forbidden fruit” and it fuels this jungle fever complex in perpetuity.


This is not a bitch session or about grievances.  But it is about clarity.  And cutting through the bullshit explanations for the ridiculously unbalanced playing field that sisters have to play on.  Do not misunderstand me- I maintain  my position that happiness is a choice and every individual is responsible for their own- whether life gives them lemonade on tap or access to a lemon tree and little more than a powerful thirst as motivation.  The lack of self-awareness of others should not curb your enthusiasm for living the life you want to live.  Hopefully this will help you stop cutting your eyes at these couples and be amused by the fact that the man is trying to steal a look at you without getting caught.  More on this to come….

∞ Thanks for checking in-  Do your thing today and I’ll see you tomorrow  π

4 thoughts on “Sisters, It Really Isn’t You, It’s Still About The Forbidden Fruit

Add yours

  1. Awesome! You know you’re saying something when Facebook censors a piece. I will be sure to post their remarks later! Great job DVH. Black women are the envy of the world and everything about us is coveted…All men are not Kings and they make decisions accordingly. Let a fool be a damn fool.


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