Considering how much time and money we spend as a culture in therapy or counseling sessions it is fair to say that we have a collective obsession with achieving understanding. We want to understand ourselves- why we feel how we feel, think how we think, and most importantly why we do the things we do.
And right alongside our obsession with understanding ourselves is our obsession with being understood by others- most importantly by our significant others. Be it our spouses, parents or children, we seem to desperately want to be understood. And the more forcefully we insist that we don’t care if we are understood, the more evident our desperation for understanding becomes. That is why we repeat ourselves like a broken record about issues that upset us.
Maybe it will help us to consider- and perhaps even accept- this simple possibility: We may not really NEED to be understood entirely. Maybe it is enough that somebody cares enough about us to really try. Because the real relationship payoff is this:
They may never fully understand you, but they have really tried to- and then decided they love you anyway. When someone really knows you and is truly down for you anyway, you have a keeper. Guaranteed.
I don’t give a damn how crazy you might be, it feels great to know you have a keeper in your corner. And as far as your efforts go to fully understand yourself- keep at it but don’t obsess.
We can’t lose sight of the fact that the psychiatry industry rakes in billions to help us find our way to understanding- but in order to help themselves they gotta keep us coming back. So we’ve got a classic dangling carrot situation here that we must account for. Besides, if somehow you have wound up with bona fide keepers in your life, it really can’t get much better than that.
∞ Thanks 4 checking in 2day- Do your thing & I’ll see you 2morrow π