Ladies, Diamonds Are NOT Your Best Friend- Discretion Is (Warning: Contains Adult Language)

Ladies, please take heed of the following public service announcement:  But first I want to thank you for visiting- I learned a long time ago that the first rule of dealing with women in any context is to demonstrate genuine appreciation for the time and attention they give you.  My mother is gone but she is certainly not forgotten so taking y’all for granted is one problem that I don’t have.

Second, I’m going to quickly clarify a big point of confusion that may be burdening you because pop culture has done its damnedest to make sure it has.  I hope you can dig this and that you can use this clarity to your advantage.  The old saying “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend” is not only untrue- its a ruthless mindfuck that can poison the mind quickly and the heart shortly thereafter. Although women tend to have a greater self-awareness these days due in large part to a culture that promotes tireless self-absorption, it seems like this old toxic tale has persisted and even thrived over time.

I know that you dig your “reality tv” shows and mindless entertainment certainly has its place, but be careful about the messages that are sneaking past your eye-gate.  Strictly by and through the women in my life, I have on occasion seen segments of a number of these shows and the salient theme is clear:

Make your life better at all cost by flagrant conspicuous consumption, i.e., buy as much of the most flashy, garish, ridiculous shit you can get your hands on so that you will inspire envy in your peers and admiration in your suitors.  Go to exotic places even though you don’t even know the country you live in, have a clothing line even though you don’t know jack-shit about designing or manufacturing clothes; and be the seven thousandth chick this week to record and drop a single even though your ass cannot even sing.  In a nutshell, that’s about the size of it.

Ladies, let me make this plain if it hasn’t already hit you:  this is all bullshit.  The diamonds or whatever else you are coveting or procuring is not your best friend and it is not going to make you better.  I am well known for my appreciation of women’s beauty and I assure you that I have never once thrown my attention or affection a woman’s way because I knew what name brand her purse or shoes were.  I don’t have a damned clue because I was too distracted by what a pretty smile she had or that killer walk that was clearly God’s gift to her AND to me.  I realize that y’all do a lot of dressing and shopping for each other: being known as a sharp chick or “it” girl is important to y’all and I am not criticizing that.  It’s a woman thing and I’m sure I just wouldn’t understand.  Just dig the fact that when your main focus is about all of the things that you cannot bring into the bed with the man in your life, you should consider making some adjustments.  Any man you really want doesn’t give a damn about your material situation- all he knows is if what you are doing is working for him.  The smile, the walk, the figure and most importantly the spirit that you bring is what will make you stand out.  Because to us, that $40 bag from TJ Maxx looks just like the $400 bag from the fancy purse shop in the upscale mall.

In closing I’m going to suggest that you fill the considerable space in your mind that is opened up after dumping all of that toxic waste above with something good:  a renewed focus on personal discretion.  Now if you are looking for a best friend that is an object or an idea rather than a person, you can hardly do better than discretion.  Discretion beats diamonds by a mile any day.  To that point I just want to encourage you to remember this: Ladies, your sexuality is your own.  No matter how possessive the man in your life might be he is well aware that no matter what you say in the midst of the act, it is not “his” it is yours- and you will do with it whatever you please.  But here is the key:  just be discrete.  Or to keep the reality tv theme going, DON’T do what so many of the women featured on those shows do.  Take the politics and the publicity out of your panties and you will find your life getting much simpler and much more enjoyable.  Keep your business, past, present and future to yourself.  Some things are just for you to know- and maybe your therapist and that one true BFF that you can trust.  Protect your privacy- especially in a world where bare asses, breasts and thighs are cycling through the internet and social media on an infinite loop.

And if a man happens to ask you any question that threatens the discretion set forth above, my hope is that you strongly consider winding down that conversation and gently sending him on his way.  His insecurity is going to wind up being a problem for him down the line and you would be well advised to keep him from making his problem into your problem.   It’s none of his goddamned business who or how many you have been with and if he isn’t seasoned enough to know that then the juice is probably not worth the squeeze.  He is worried about the size of his dick and whether he can satisfy you so he’s handicapping his odds based on how much dick exposure you have had.  Take my word for it, ladies and just keep it moving. I sincerely hope that this brief message can be useful to you.  If nothing else, you got a pure perspective from a man that isn’t trying to sell you anything- just using his platform to reach out for greater understanding where it matters the most.  And nothing matters more than y’all.

∞ Thanks again for checking in-  Do your thing today and I’ll see you tomorrow  π


D.V.H., Esq

2 thoughts on “Ladies, Diamonds Are NOT Your Best Friend- Discretion Is (Warning: Contains Adult Language)

Add yours

  1. Well, you served more truth in this address than most books to women cover in 20 chapters! SMH…And as the church mother’s say, “babae, it’s the truth anyhow”.


    1. Thank you for that feedback. That was exactly the point. Most of these books are more about selling a brand and advancing somebody’s career than really helping somebody find their way. Honest dialogue and thoughtful insight usually is all we need to fix whatever is wrong. Cutesy rules and slogans come and go. Being real with oneself is forever.


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