Just Google “Happy Father’s Day, Mom,” and you’ll find the following memes, amongst others:
“Happy Father’s Day to my Mom, who did both jobs to raise me single-handedly.”
“Mom, Happy Father’s Day. Because let’s face it, you’re the best Dad I’ve ever had.”
As a man, and a father, I find this insulting. There are many women who raise children with fathers who, for one reason or another, have minimal presence in their children’s lives, if at all. In fact there are too many fatherless children, because there are too many damn husband-less wives, but that’s a failure for another article.
We live in a politically correct society where masculinity is constantly being attacked and marginalized. The same people who will criticize a straight man for having the audacity to verbalize attraction to a woman, no matter how respectful or innocuous, will then congratulate a gay man who shares a face full of cake with his boyfriend on national television, then invite him onto the talk show circuit. The unfortunate straight man who has the poor judgment to openly express attraction for, or appreciation toward a woman, no matter how beautiful, is often called “thirsty.” Just when the hell did a man expressing attraction toward a woman become so damn strange?
I’ll get back to Father’s Day in a moment, but I want to delve a bit deeper into this disdain and marginalization of masculine norms. Look no further than the Brent Musburger fiasco during the college football championship game a few years ago as an example of the foolishness.
In the matchup against Notre Dame, an image of Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend, Katherine Webb, who was Miss Alabama at the time, came on the screen. Poor old Brent committed the unforgivable sin of saying what every other straight man with eyes said when the image below flashed on his TV screen: “Wow! What a beautiful woman!” He said to his broadcast partner, Kirk Herbstreit, “You quarterbacks get all the good-looking women.”
“A J’s doing some things right,” Herbstreit replied.
Musburger, then said, “If you’re a youngster in Alabama, start getting the football out and throw it around the backyard with Pop.”
Cue the shit storm.
The feminazis pounced, and began to throw around ridiculous terms such as “creepy,” “awkward,” and “uncomfortable.” To her credit, Webb herself didn’t express offense, and said that she was actually flattered. ESPN acquiesced to the emasculating sensitivities of the politically correct with a toss-under-the-bus, limp-wristed apology, as if Musburger had really done anything wrong.
One woman, Sue Carter, a professor of journalism at Michigan State opened her mouth to offer the following fugly woman boilerplate: “It’s extraordinarily inappropriate to focus on an individual’s looks. In this instance, the appearance of the quarterback’s girlfriend had no bearing on the outcome of the game. It’s a major personal violation, and it’s so retrograde that it’s embarrassing. I think there’s a generational issue, but it’s incumbent on people practicing in these eras to keep up and
this is not a norm.”
What a crock of complete and utter bullshit.
She made it sound as if he violated her or traumatized her. He didn’t say, “I want to f*ck her.” He didn’t speculate on her cup size, nipple length, or panty type, or whether or not she spits or swallows. All he said, was that the winner of the Miss Alabama beauty pageant, was beautiful, and boys, if that’s what you want, then that’s a dream for you to work toward. How very awful it apparently is, to express to any young man, that a woman of a perceived caliber isn’t one who he can simply pull without putting in the work, and that he actually needs to set goals, whatever they may be, to win her, or one on her level.
That bullshit reminds me of a line from the Jim Carrey movie, “Liar, Liar,” where his character was sitting on a park bench next to his young son, who said to him, “Dad, my teacher says that true beauty comes from the inside.” Carrey, without batting an eye, threw an arm around his kid and deadpanned with a smile, “Oh, son, that’s just something that ugly people say.”
I was watching that game. I’d never seen her before. When Katherine Webb flashed on the screen, even before Musburger said anything, I remember saying to myself, Dayum. Who is that?? I suspect just about every other straight man in America watching, (and a bunch of women watching) did too. Remember, that year, Katherine Webb was Miss Alabama. This means she won a competition that awarded her for her beauty with a bouquet, a sash, and a tiara. Why would any man’s overt appreciation for the beauty of a beauty queen be unjustified? Same can be asked of Kamala Harris, the former Attorney General for the state of California, now serving as one of that state’s senators. President Barack Obama committed the unforgivable sin of once referring to her as “hot.” Under pressure, he was forced to later apologize.
Imagine that? A man having to apologize, because he had the audacity to recognize and appreciate a woman’s obvious physical beauty.
How dare Brent and the president commit these horrible, horrible, crimes? The presumption here is that man’s ability to acknowledge a woman’s obvious physical beauty, and her many other attributes, is mutually exclusive. We’re incapable of discourse, too blinded by T&A to desire Q&A. We’re simply too superficial or narrow minded to see any woman as brilliant, educated, accomplished, and fine as hell. We are unable to admire her physical beauty and also have any respect for her.
Talk to any man about what he desires in a woman. The two are actually mutually inclusive. No man wants a sizzling dingbat, or a sea donkey savant.
This attitude seems to have permeated our society. I can recall an exchange with a woman on social media years ago, where, when we fellas were discussing certain things we liked about women,
the women would frequently interject into what was deemed a males-only conversation. I asked one woman why she felt that was appropriate, since we didn’t do the same when the script was flipped. She said, “Because what men like about women is flawed.” I said, “Well then, if that’s the case, then what your man likes about you is flawed.” I haven’t heard from her since.
Now, this mess has landed at the doorstep of Father’s Day, where the ultimate manifestation of masculinity – fatherhood – has been appropriated, as if it is something to be awarded or assigned by others, or is subjective, where a woman can now somehow transcend motherhood, by virtue of motherhood itself, and be declared equal to me as a father, and as a man.
How is THAT not offensive?
I can hear all the arguments. But you just don’t understand what I/my Mom had to go through.
This takes me back to DVH’s I Always Had to Fight posting. This mindset is nothing more than a logical fallacy, an appeal to emotion. Feelings are irrelevant. A woman is NOT a man, and is therefore NOT a father. Period. If your children had no father, then, you did the best you could in his absence, as a single mother. You were not also him, and for any single mother to boast that she “played both roles,” is like saying that good masturbation makes you a couple. Mother’s Day was in May. You received your honors, kudos and hosannas then, just as you deserved. Ladies, this Sunday, June 18, is not, “I Had to Raise My Children Without a Man Day.” It is not, “You Don’t Know How Hard I Had to Fight Day.” It is Father’s Day.
I would graciously defer any and all praise I would receive on your day to you, because Mother’s Day is all about you, as it should be, and when it comes to mothering I am not, and cannot ever be your equal.
But Father’s Day? It’s MY turn. You had your day. This is my day, and my father’s day, my brothers’ day, and the day for all men who are fathers to our children. If you feel any emotional objections arising in your head to counter any of what I’ve said, then please allow me to wish you a happily belated Mother’s Day, because, on Father’s Day, you and I are not the same.