Let’s be clear up front: this is a stupid debate. And let me be even clearer: there is an obvious right side and a wrong side of this debate and the wrong side is running out of time and excuses. This debate about whether a cake maker should be legally required to make a cake for a gay wedding is painfully stupid. But out of fairness I will stop just short of calling people stupid who believe that the cake maker should have the right to a “conscientious objection” to making the cake for a gay couple. The argument that these people advance is that the cake maker must be permitted to decline to serve a gay couple on the basis of “religious freedom.” In short, selling them a cake is endorsing their gay lifestyle, gay marriage, gay equality or anything else that could be good for gays. And that’s bad because you know, Jesus hates fags, right?
I’m calling bullshit. Making a cake is making a cake, not a holy sacrament. Selling cakes to the public is a business- pure and simple. And we have rules to how businesses conduct themselves. One of those rules is that a business does not get to pick and choose who it will provide services to. We outgrew that stupidity as a society decades ago and coming up with a new cute catch phrase like “religious freedom” doesn’t change that. I haven’t practiced law in a long time but if that has changed I would be very surprised- Trump Presidency or not.
You just cannot have a 1st world society that allows people to be turned away from patronizing a business at the whim and will of the proprietor. Despite the fact that we have recently experienced a surge in douchebagness in American politics, that is STILL not who we are. Turning a person away from a business because “we don’t like your kind ’round here” is some retrograde horseshit that we need to let dry out completely so we can just brush it away like dust.
If a store elects not to inventory the little decorative figurines of two grooms or two brides that would sit atop the cake, I can dig that. Nobody can tell you what to put in your store. But if Chuck and Larry walk into your shop and they want to buy a cake from you and you sell cakes, sell them the damned cake and keep your fucking opinions to yourself. They are customers that are supporting your business. Be happy you are making money- which is the purpose of any for profit enterprise.
My question to all of the right-wing, conservative Christian bakers out there is this: are you specifically endorsing the marital union of the couple who came in and bought a cake last year despite the fact that the groom beats the hell out of the bride at least twice a month? Or are you specifically supporting the union of the couple that bought your cake where the groom has been molesting the bride’s daughter from a previous relationship? Or are you specifically supporting the marriage of the couple who bought your cake despite the fact that the bride was fucking the groom’s brother, best friend and cousin before they got married and continued to do so after they got married- and now she doesn’t even know who the father of her child is?
You get the picture, folks? You don’t know what the hell is going on in people’s lives that you are tacitly supporting by virtue of your specific rebuke of another couple on your bullshit moralistic grounds. In the Bible you people profess to know and follow I’m fairly certain it says that all sins are equal. (Y’all consult your religious friends for a textual reference because I don’t have a clue but I’ll bet you my check it’s in there.) So Chuck and Larry’s gayness, if it is a a sin, is no more a sin than the other folks’ abuse, adultery or idolatry or whatever they have done.
You bakers out there just make your lives easier and mind your own goddamned business by doing your business. You are in the business of selling cakes, not saving souls. So sell the damned cake and shut the fuck up. And to all of my gay friends out there, I can certainly understand why you carry these discriminatory assholes through the legal system. You’ve got to make your point. But I really would actively discourage you from ever eating anything from anybody anywhere who doesn’t want your money because of who you are. I don’t trust people so twisted and self-righteous. These people have proven that they can rationalize and justify damned near anything and I would hate to see any of you get hurt. Only God knows what may have gotten into that cake that you got from them.
I will close with this observation: it is no wonder that we are now living in a time when so many Americans cannot tell real news from fake news propaganda. We are collectively as stupid as we have ever been before. The election of Donald Trump is objective proof of that position. While foreign actors can meddle in our election processes, we are sitting up here worried about and arguing about who is having sex with who and what rights do they lose as a result thereof. As if it makes any difference whatsoever. And now the Supreme Court is going to hear this cake-baker case and if early activity of this new court is any indication of its future direction, all hell is about to break lose.
So thanks alot, assholes. Because of you, we are now about to return to a society where signs dotted all types of public commercial establishments proudly announcing “We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To Anyone At Managements Discretion” or even better “No Gays Allowed.” I wonder what happens when some confused and bigoted religious jerk-off decides that the Bible says black folks are cursed and race mixing is a sin. So no cake for President Obama, Tiger Woods or Lenny Kravitz either I guess. God Bless America.
∞ Thanks 4 checking in- Do your thing 2day & I’ll see you 2morrow π